No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
