If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
