Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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