Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
