I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
