apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
