the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Help. Why am I so naked?
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