i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
My vagina is very pro this idea
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
