There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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