Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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