Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
