Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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