I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
