I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
