I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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