you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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