Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
