I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
