just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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