I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Randomize
