there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
