Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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