Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
