I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
