I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
