They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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