i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
