you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
