so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
