i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
