if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
