my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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