Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
