But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
