I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
