I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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