she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
So vagazzling was a success
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
