East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
