Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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