Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
