Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
