so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
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