So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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