Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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