i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
