I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
