So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
