I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
My liver just had a heart attack.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
