I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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