Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
