In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
