You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
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