id be glad to
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
