Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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