shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Randomize
