I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
